Are we any better than our ancestors? Are we just playing a game of roles and pretending to have evolved? Although we love to talk about how much the world has changed so much is still the same. History is constantly repeating itself. Most Millenials, for instance, do want a relationship, unlike what is said in most articles out there about our “obsession” with being single. Yet, for some reason, “settlement” still refers to having a good job, a stable marriage, and 2 kids.
So really, have we even changed a little bit
I guess the question arises when we start to think about why being single is still not a normal. Why is it that the word “settled” is not yet being single, having a high paying job and traveling around the world. If Millenials are so against commitment, why is commitment still the “normal” and not the “abnormal”? If we have evolved so much, why are single people looked down at because supposedly they have commitment issues, why isn’t it just them being happy alone?
Honestly, when your 21-year-old pals are getting engaged, things start looking a little different. Especially if you are 19. Am I wrong for not wanting a relationship and actually liking life as a single woman?
Is Being Single Still Not The New Normal?
Honestly, most people think I am still “too young” to discuss this topic. But is it really age or is it maturity that determines our perspective on a certain topic? I mean, I am 19 but have a job, earn money I spend, have a monthly budget and take care of people close to me. My soul to me feels more like a 40-year-old.
The truth is no matter how much we deny it a lot of our lives are still dependent on the manner in which a patriarchal society views it. Wanting kids who are engineers and doctors is still an obsession. We still think that in a marriage the man should make the decisions and the woman should listen. The truth is we are not going any further than where our parents were when they said “I do” we are just a reflection of their actions and their perceptions towards society.
Yet, we are different, or at least I can speak for myself, I definitely am.
I like being single, it gives me power, I have been single for 3 years. I have had to answer to people about why I stay single and whether I have commitment issues. And yes, maybe I do. But that’s not why I am single. I am single because I am happy with my life, I don’t require a man’s shoulder when I am crying or need him to do my chores for me. The fact is I am not dependent on some dude and that makes me happy. I don’t want to be dependent on someone, don’t want to have to make a decision thinking about him first. I want to live life, maybe have kids someday, but my career and I come first.
Everyone’s priorities are different, but I still believe that people in relationships want the same thing as people who are single. I also feel that usually, it’s the depressed 35-year-olds who haven’t had sex in 3 years that marry early on.
Sometimes, they go somewhere else for pleasure.
The truth is even people in relationships like to on by someone else. So, what can we say? Maybe being a couple with kids and having a perfect life is normal, but is it really any better than what it used to be or are we just going in circles?
People will always look down at a happily single woman. People will still fail to understand her, and maybe as I grow older more and more women will feel threatened by me. Or maybe, we will finally come to accept single women for what they are, responsible, dependable, happy? Who really knows what will happen in the future, except my friend’s wedding of course. All in all, being settled is about being satisfied, and I guess it’s still a hard concept to accept that single women are self-satisfied.
Oh well, until next time.
XoXo Queen X.